Vanity Card #55 – The Epitome of 125 Days

VanityCard55EpitomeOf125Days

Before you say anything, I must stand on trial and admit that I am guilty of not writing any update here for ages. Today Facebook randomly informed me that I have not published anything for 125 days and it hit me – my life has changed almost completely in the past four months and I have been way too silent about it.

So here is a small recap what happened.

First of all, I learned many various life lessons from my travels in Europe. Life is short. Known fact, yet many think that they live forever. Best possible option is to start aiming higher and focus on your own ambitions in life; what makes you smile, what gives you strength to wake up in the morning, what gives you a purpose.

I enrolled into University of Applied Sciences to study IT and perhaps gain a foothold in an industry that is still growing and evolving on the various fields it offers. I have dreams to one day weave entertaining stories and characters into personal driven game experiences. I have a lot of thoughts and plots to be deployed into the market.

I had a lot of personal baggage from my past and the long dark years had made it difficult to search for someone special. Someone who understands who I am and what I seek from this crazy thing called life. Nevertheless I decided it was time to make conscious moves to start dating people and get exposed for possible heart breaks.

For my astonishment it didn’t take very long before I ran into this one beautiful, amazing and incredibly hilarious woman that stole the very beating thing under my chest. I have now learned to smile again. You know what feeling is the best in the world? To know that someone accepts and loves you just the way you are.

With this newly acclaimed happiness, I feel like I can do so much more in life.

One more change that happened – I did this one huge money contract with bank where I gave up almost everything I had and now I own a apartment. Well, the bank still owes it technically but I am paying a huge chunk of money every month so I can hang around naked in the apartment. Anyone want to come help me hang my curtains? Or help hang my paintings together? No? Shiii.

In all shortness, I am not sure how I will continue to update my site here in GeorgeCarcain.com – I do update my Instagram with small written pieces every now and then. But perhaps I have to open my thought tank and let it spill freely here on the web as well. I am also wondering about starting to write in Finnish once again..

Summer, I hope you arrive soon! I have many plans for you..

Thanks for reading!

– George

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Vanity Card #53 – The Struggles and Payoffs

VanityCard53TheStrugglesAndPayOffs

Song to accompany the reading experience, performed by Welshly Arms:

 

The Nobel prize winner John Steinbeck wrote a quote about the journey of life that has stuck with me through all these years of soul-searching.

A journey is a person in itself; to two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.

We humans have a heartfelt tendency to think ourselves as complex demigods, but we frequently tend to perceive others as something transparent.  I have always felt it very troublesome as I am always eager to connect with other people – to find a common ground among strangers. It would be a narrow-minded lie if I said that every single person I connected once upon time with is still in my life. We are on this rampart journey we can only try to plan and hope that most of our dreams materialize into being.

As we are along the subject of becoming something through the journey, all the hardships you have suffered to this breath have made you the person you are today. In classical Chinese philosophy the natural world is on bound together by Ying and Yang, two opposite forces that compliment each other. The duality that teaches that the whole is always greater than the assembled parts. In layman’s terms, what does not kill us makes us stronger.

No matter how good of a strategist you think yourself to be, there will always be a wild card or two among the tall grass. It might be the fact that every single day of our lives, we are being fed by millions and millions of stimulus so in contrast, we have developed a mindset filter to shift through the parts that feel like matter the most. But we are not perfect, the Latin saying errare humanum est stands the test of time. So in the long run, we miss a rough-rugged diamond every now and then.

Nevertheless, my mother didn’t raise no fool, life is a numbers game. Probabilities, chances, uncertainty are all over the board and all we can do is hope that everything will be alright at the finish line. Bargaining is callous part of the deal of owning a self-conscious mind. The only advice I can sell to others is to make sure that you take the ships wheel of life and steer where you want to visit. The only mistake you can make is not to raise the anchor and let the dices roll.

I have a feeling that this time the house does not always win.

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– George

Vanity Card #52 – The How You Like Me Now

VanityCard52TheHowYouLikeMeNow

To set the right mood, press play.

The camera slides into focus with a wide lens capturing the whole office room. George sits at his work desk and drums the pen on the keyboard.  The song can be heard through the headphones and it visibly irritates the coworkers. Boss enters the room, assesses the situation and walks to remove the headphones. Dialog begins.

When was the last time you really felt freedom? Like you could do anyone and anything in the world? When was the last time you were thinking about your life and thought to yourself, man, I am winning this game so bad.

An hour later the man in question walks free from the conference room and the days of breathing damp office air are numbered. Tickets have been drafted, plans have been made. No more of this old mess.

I am getting ahead of myself here. There is still 60 days left. In conclusion, I have decided to follow my good friend’s wisdom of leaving everything behind for a while and search for experiences in the open wide world. Many would question my choices – our bloody generation was well tempered into a loop of eat, work and sleep repeat.

Tickets have already been purchased and now the ecstasy of planning enthralls the brain, going back and forth on all the possibilities and places to see. Truth is I have known already for a while my personal calling and during this year I am ready to go through all the hoops, hell and high water to achieve the goals set for 2017.

So all I can do tonight is to play this song over and over and over.

– George

See, I been a bad bad bad bad man.
And I’m in deep, yeah.
I found a brand new love for this man,
And can’t wait till you see.
I can’t wait.

So how you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How You Like Me Now – Performed by The Heavy

Vanity Card #49 – The Grand Curtain Call

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Oh, hello there! I did not see you there, glancing at my well written words and prepositions. You want me to supply you another Vanity Card? I must ask your endless forgiveness my dear friend as the rumors incite that the production has been stopped completely.

Did you not hear? Presumably the author struck into madness while trying to survive from a writing drought? The coppers found him running naked through the town streets only wearing a quill and an ink pot between his butt cheeks. Straight to skid row asylum, I tell you!

Now if you may escort yourself out of my premises, I bid you adieu!

Sorry for breaking out of character as this was all just a grand scheme, friendly banter, benevolent bamboozle my old’ chap! What a gullible crowd we have tonight – perhaps you have liquored your taste buds de trop already even though the clock has not struck midnight? Well, who am I to judge us all.

All I can say tonight is – I feel eminently ecstatic to turn the 2016 into 2017!

The truth is 2016 started with a thick dark haze – overshadowing the ignorance of what I genuinely wanted out of life – ending up working diligently through the mud just to have a breather every now and then. For months I used to be very talkative about the rational fear, the kind of fear that blocks you from turning your life upside down to see where you actually stand on the grand map of enjoyable life. Now I hunt for the perfect combination of meaningful work, enticing travel and casual leisure.

The few remaining months I pondered on and on about what drastic measures are the ones that must be maneuvered to gain a second chance at a happy life. One thing leads to another and since the domino blocks have already been laid out in the open, I will eagerly wait to topple the first one down as the year of 2017 starts rolling out!

I do want to invite you for the baffling journey and as my own New Year’s resolution, I will solemnly promise to start pushing out new content on a monthly basis.

Happy New Year 2017, I wish you all a great, grand adventure!

– George

#TheGreatCompendiumOfLoveAndWhatnot #Updates

Seasonal greetings!

Let me phrase George R.R. Martin for once, the winter is coming. Autumn has pushed the limits of my loose understanding why I still keep my residence here in the cold northern hemisphere.

While I’m suffering my personal mild hypotermia, please find  below some updates from my Instagram project. If you’re not already following me at Instagram, get your cup of tea and get on with it!