Vanity Card #53 – The Struggles and Payoffs

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Song to accompany the reading experience, performed by Welshly Arms:

 

The Nobel prize winner John Steinbeck wrote a quote about the journey of life that has stuck with me through all these years of soul-searching.

A journey is a person in itself; to two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.

We humans have a heartfelt tendency to think ourselves as complex demigods, but we frequently tend to perceive others as something transparent.  I have always felt it very troublesome as I am always eager to connect with other people – to find a common ground among strangers. It would be a narrow-minded lie if I said that every single person I connected once upon time with is still in my life. We are on this rampart journey we can only try to plan and hope that most of our dreams materialize into being.

As we are along the subject of becoming something through the journey, all the hardships you have suffered to this breath have made you the person you are today. In classical Chinese philosophy the natural world is on bound together by Ying and Yang, two opposite forces that compliment each other. The duality that teaches that the whole is always greater than the assembled parts. In layman’s terms, what does not kill us makes us stronger.

No matter how good of a strategist you think yourself to be, there will always be a wild card or two among the tall grass. It might be the fact that every single day of our lives, we are being fed by millions and millions of stimulus so in contrast, we have developed a mindset filter to shift through the parts that feel like matter the most. But we are not perfect, the Latin saying errare humanum est stands the test of time. So in the long run, we miss a rough-rugged diamond every now and then.

Nevertheless, my mother didn’t raise no fool, life is a numbers game. Probabilities, chances, uncertainty are all over the board and all we can do is hope that everything will be alright at the finish line. Bargaining is callous part of the deal of owning a self-conscious mind. The only advice I can sell to others is to make sure that you take the ships wheel of life and steer where you want to visit. The only mistake you can make is not to raise the anchor and let the dices roll.

I have a feeling that this time the house does not always win.

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– George

Vanity Card #52 – The How You Like Me Now

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To set the right mood, press play.

The camera slides into focus with a wide lens capturing the whole office room. George sits at his work desk and drums the pen on the keyboard.  The song can be heard through the headphones and it visibly irritates the coworkers. Boss enters the room, assesses the situation and walks to remove the headphones. Dialog begins.

When was the last time you really felt freedom? Like you could do anyone and anything in the world? When was the last time you were thinking about your life and thought to yourself, man, I am winning this game so bad.

An hour later the man in question walks free from the conference room and the days of breathing damp office air are numbered. Tickets have been drafted, plans have been made. No more of this old mess.

I am getting ahead of myself here. There is still 60 days left. In conclusion, I have decided to follow my good friend’s wisdom of leaving everything behind for a while and search for experiences in the open wide world. Many would question my choices – our bloody generation was well tempered into a loop of eat, work and sleep repeat.

Tickets have already been purchased and now the ecstasy of planning enthralls the brain, going back and forth on all the possibilities and places to see. Truth is I have known already for a while my personal calling and during this year I am ready to go through all the hoops, hell and high water to achieve the goals set for 2017.

So all I can do tonight is to play this song over and over and over.

– George

See, I been a bad bad bad bad man.
And I’m in deep, yeah.
I found a brand new love for this man,
And can’t wait till you see.
I can’t wait.

So how you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How you like me now?
How You Like Me Now – Performed by The Heavy

Vanity Card #51 – The Countdown Sequence

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….

… Please…

…Stand by….

The following takes place between January 25th  – March 22nd.

The first three months of 2017 were truly a chaotic hell ride through hoops and high water. At the end of February, the three amigos; me and my two childhood friends; disbanded our shared apartment and we moved to different area codes. It was a fun year and a half, in a one wicked way or another I am going to miss it.

If life ever was a game of monopoly, I am currently residing near the starting line. The retreat from our earlier apartment was a hasty decision indeed and we all did not have a bulletproof plan where to find lodging after February. So I decided to grab my belongings and stash them into a storage space and stay here, at least for a while with my family. Not the perfect escape route I admit, but it’s a rent fee solution, the pros dominate the cons.

When the year changed to four new digits I promised myself that I would cut loose all the strings that had no meaningful purpose in my life and start anew, building a future for myself that I can live with my heart out. The plan has been in the works and now we’re closing on an important milestone. Please applaud my trusty countdown calendar on site!

Oh, now you are struggling to find it.

This is your captain speaking, if you please turn your head up and little to the left you are able to see the engine number two on fire and the sweet countdown sequence calendar.

Cabin crew, please prepare for emergency landing!

So what does the countdown calendar actually mean? Well, I believe that is a mighty fine story for the next Vanity Card, which I will not promise will be shortly published. I am a grouchy slouch after all. All I can say, I am cutting loose!

Enjoy your tick-tock-countdown-calendar!

-George

Vanity Card #50 – The Designed Dropout

 

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Song suggestion to compliment the Vanity Card, by Old Man Canyon

 

I believe the greatest feat any human being can achieve is to excel oneself in a way that can be described as a plot twist. Truthfully, I am done talking with fears and changes, this year is all about outperforming the talk into reality. I would like to dedicate the first few months of 2017 to the subject matter of dropping out of the loop. When an individual has gathered all the causes of distress in one’s life, it’s time to start checking the removal list one by one.

Aristotle once said that pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. I have blabbered my mouth about this subject so long the drool is starting to hit the floor – I do not enjoy my current career as an office rat stamping meaningless papers and pressing forward button on emails. So that is the first one to go. I have made my peace, leaving this part of life on the rear-view mirror when planning the road ahead.

What’s next? Bad habits. I am leaving a landslide of bad habits behind. Truth is I have mistakenly joked a lot about being buried in the club 27 guest list. I have this working theory about misusing food to replace things that should raise the dopamine level of my brain. Truthfully, if I would have not fantasized about feasting hearty meals while growing up I probably ended up at therapists office. Rough childhood is great fertilizer for eating disorders. Exercising must gain a daily spotlight as well. This project not something to be accomplished in a week or a month, it’s something more that needs to be carried on my shoulders on a daily basis.

A removal list would be incomplete if I would not mention the spiritual support for all the changes I must overcome this year. The Lebanese-American artist and poet Kahlil Gibran wrote about friendship the following:

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

I owe much to my friends as they have encouraged me while on the path on writing, music and life itself. However, not all acquaintances and strangers alike share the view of Kahlil Gibran regarding friendship. It’s always a heartbreak when you realize that the mutual trust and honor was not so mutual after all. In the end you will find seeds of new friendships in the ruins of old ones. For what it’s worth, I am not afraid of meeting new faces.

The unimaginable rewards lie on the horizon and I can for now only dream about how everything will come together at the end. One reward I know for sure, I will pack my bags and start an adventure abroad. As I am writing this now, I have few good things to keep me here in Finland. Let’s hope there’s more to come.

– George

Vanity Card #49 – The Grand Curtain Call

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Oh, hello there! I did not see you there, glancing at my well written words and prepositions. You want me to supply you another Vanity Card? I must ask your endless forgiveness my dear friend as the rumors incite that the production has been stopped completely.

Did you not hear? Presumably the author struck into madness while trying to survive from a writing drought? The coppers found him running naked through the town streets only wearing a quill and an ink pot between his butt cheeks. Straight to skid row asylum, I tell you!

Now if you may escort yourself out of my premises, I bid you adieu!

Sorry for breaking out of character as this was all just a grand scheme, friendly banter, benevolent bamboozle my old’ chap! What a gullible crowd we have tonight – perhaps you have liquored your taste buds de trop already even though the clock has not struck midnight? Well, who am I to judge us all.

All I can say tonight is – I feel eminently ecstatic to turn the 2016 into 2017!

The truth is 2016 started with a thick dark haze – overshadowing the ignorance of what I genuinely wanted out of life – ending up working diligently through the mud just to have a breather every now and then. For months I used to be very talkative about the rational fear, the kind of fear that blocks you from turning your life upside down to see where you actually stand on the grand map of enjoyable life. Now I hunt for the perfect combination of meaningful work, enticing travel and casual leisure.

The few remaining months I pondered on and on about what drastic measures are the ones that must be maneuvered to gain a second chance at a happy life. One thing leads to another and since the domino blocks have already been laid out in the open, I will eagerly wait to topple the first one down as the year of 2017 starts rolling out!

I do want to invite you for the baffling journey and as my own New Year’s resolution, I will solemnly promise to start pushing out new content on a monthly basis.

Happy New Year 2017, I wish you all a great, grand adventure!

– George

Vanity Card #48 – The Creative Love Torment Outburst Syndrome

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God damn, it feels great to come back to the writing board.

First of all, my sincere and deepest apologies for the invisible crowd that I have not spent time writing Vanity Cards lately as I have been experimenting with my Instagram.

If you’re desperately seeking for a confined reason for my silence, I can breastfeed you this nonsensical satire: In my personal recreational believe systems I hold a firm conviction that creative outbursts appear in unpredictable intervals and as I have been experimenting headfirst with relationships, I went num-nuts to amuse my blood vessels and nucleus accumbens shell.

If I had a legit doctor’s license that would work anywhere else than Borneo I would call it:

The Creative Love Torment Outburst Syndrome

Or just admit that I have been knowingly a lazy sorry-ass for months when it comes to writing.

The spring so far has been a quite a Pandora’s box of setbacks that I am merely reporting it in when the summer is gasping its lasts breaths. Last year I decided wholeheartedly that I would try effortlessly to relocate to US in order to revolutionize my life for a bit more compelling narrative than the conventional office rat espionage which got me hooked on slavers bay paychecks.

However, I had no luck with the foolproof DV lottery and I must seek other ways to inspire myself to rise above the lover class income of experiences. As the spring took a turn for worse, I gazed hard into the mirror and saw myself in it. Isn’t life grand, huh?

The Pokemon Go caught my heart in a Poké Ball and ever since I have been sweating my gene pool all over the local neighborhood and various unfamiliar territories. This week I am closing on hundred kilometers of NSA-surveilled GPS walking. For a man of my size I love the healthy addiction this game has brought to my attention.

As I promised myself to seek happiness in conjunction with success when the calendar page turned to 2016, I am taking the appropriate baby steps to further my goal. The main aim is my physical health that includes plenty of writing that stretches on many (doubtful) subjects.

In all shortness, please be very intrigued to read more Vanity Cards shortly.

– George

Vanity Card #47 – The Falling Into A Foxhole

The Falling Into A Foxhole

Most of us run our entire lives searching for something that truly defines happiness. For most of my own adolescent life I have always thought that true happiness was a some kind of enigmatic mixture of love and wealth.

In recent times I have started to rethink every single assumption I have concocted during my growing spurt years. Re-imagining the definition of happiness is a ludicrous attempt for a mind that has grown roots into the very culture it has been blessed or cursed with. I do believe that we all are free souls to some extent, but it does not change the fact that most of us are frankly the products of our environment.

Wealth always carries a taxman on its heels, which grandly pursues and consumes us in order to make us consume more. The mirage of truly owning something on this god forsaken rock planet, orbiting in the space where we humans are merely the size of ants – is a god blessed, entitled sense of false security.We are only a one specie among thousands of others after all, a dominant one surely,  the one that evolved from the warmth of the thousand rays of a star that was cast aside us 13.8 billion years ago.

So what about the greatest sensation of an eternal connection with the whole universe as we know it – Love – has to do with everything?

If the history of the mankind has taught us anything – we humans have always defined our purpose by the historical era we have been living in. In the stone ages, we were destined to hunt mammoths, provide for our tribe and extend our reach as much as possible. In many cases we were feasting one on one with the nature, shouting and growling while making new tribe members and watching our tail for the vicious sabertooth tiger.

During stone ages love was merely a chemical back draft in the back mirror of being able to reproduce and keep surviving in the cruel world where the man was switching roles about being the hunter and the hunted on a daily basis.

What feels like light years away from the stone ages, the industrial revolution peaked 300 years ago from our current standing point in history. During these troubling times we tried to cultivate our population, while sacrificing the youth and the working class in shady coal mines and factory halls, desperately providing our families with suitable accommodation and a warm meal. The future was here.

Somewhere in the distant timeline we had become so progressively distant from the roots of our ancestors that our mind  had started to create a universe of its own – a whole construction of man made rules in order to keep ourselves hooked on the sense of purpose. We found love in rooting ourselves into a society that works on the blood and sweat of those who believe they can create a world of their own within the planet made by the universe. We found each other in the chains of our own logical thinking, bleeding for a simple sense of being accepted and loved by other survivors.

We found love in a hopeless place.

Yes – I’m quoting Rihanna right now..or like I would like to say – a team of professional pop songwriters. Simplicity creates attraction.

I am not saying that true purpose does not exist for us single soul humans.

I am merely saying that tonight I dissected my own insecurity of not being happy – which is evidently not true – by a simply creating a dialogue and finding the purpose between the words delivered to be hurtful in the most imaginative way possible.

We keep on falling into foxholes only to find a better trench.