Vanity Card #3 – The Mermaid Theory

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How I Met Your Mother, that was a great show.

Unfortunately the finale screwed the whole thing for me. However, one particular theory from the trustworthy womanizer Barney Stinson really hit me hard. The Mermaid Theory.

It’s all about the human mind developing something that seems unattractive at first..to something very desirable. Since I’m a big teddy bear with a broken weighing scale, I’m not the very first catch in the ocean of passion. But I have my charms, goddammit!

So one lonely night it struck me – I’m a male mermaid..merman?

You want proof? I’ve been a regular customer at the local barbershop and my barber has been the same cute girl for a year or so. So when does the clock start ticking? As soon as I realize I can make the girl laugh. Doesn’t matter if she is out of my league.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind..

Tick, tack.

Today, after 11 months, 12 days and couple of hours..

While she was doing magic to my hair, we talked, laughed and shared.

The clocked ticked for the last time and rang like hell. I walk out of the barbershop with the girls phone number on my receipt. The Mermaid Theory, in practice, ladies and gentlemen.

Here’s the true kicker though, drum roll please!

She’s already dating.

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